Not Your Mother's Songs to Walk Down the Aisle to
by Victoria Storm
Planning a wedding is hard, but planning a wedding that doesn’t look like all 8 weddings you went to last summer is harder. The wedding industry has a charming way of grabbing brides by the hair and pushing them into identical blush barn weddings, and this seems to be exceptionally true in regards to music. I searched the internet high and low for recommendations of songs to walk down the aisle to and the most “nontraditional” they got was Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift. Not throwing shade on you, Ms Swift, but that is a sorry excuse for a nontraditional love song. I digress.
Now that I’ve figured out my song (what? I can’t tell you! It’s a surprise!) I thought I’d pass along my hours of research. These are all songs that I actually recommended to Caleb over the course of two months until he yelled “Is this a joke to you?!” and I had to tone it down.
Upgrade U by Beyoncé - because hell YES you are upgrading this man and everyone knows it [scratched cause it’s too R&B for the grandmas]
Closer by the Chainsmokers - this is the best song of our generation [scratched because Caleb has no taste]
Archie, Marry Me by Alvvays - “you’ve expressed exquisitely your contempt for matrimony." Any song that talks about marriage explicitly is a contender; your wedding day is not the time for subtlety. [honestly, we might need to put this one back on the table]
Chateau Lobby #4 by Father John Misty - okay so yes this song does say “satanic” in the first stanza and a great majority of it is about losing your virginity on your wedding night, but I think that’s what makes it such a great fit? I don’t know just give it a listen. [scratched for the aforementioned reasons, unfortunately]
Love on the Weekend by John Mayer - you’re getting married on a Saturday aren’t you? Girl, he wrote this song for you. [scratched cause I’ve already overplayed this song]
NO by Meghan Trainor - haha [lol]
Ivy by Frank Ocean - “I thought that I was dreaming when you said you love me” this is actually a very good option!! [scratched because I’ve never been as into Frank Ocean as everyone else and I don’t know why. also it says "I could hate you now" a bunch, but that doesn't seem like a deal-breaker.]
Coming Home by Leon Bridges - okay this is frickin great. You should walk down the aisle to this. [scratched because it’s too sweet]
First Class by Rainbow Kitten Surprise - I firmly believe in being realistic about love on your wedding day and aisle songs that are needlessly moody [scratched cause Caleb does not believe in being realistic about love on your wedding day and aisle songs that are needlessly moody. Also, it says the F word.]
Bitch I’m Madonna by Madonna - just another really great idea [This is it. This is the song I’m walking down the aisle to]
Catch the Spotify playlist here.