Breaking Up: How To Deal (And How Not To)
By: Josie Smith
Boys. They are one thing we all have to deal with at one time or another. A force of nature designed to bring us happiness or complete confusion or often, a combination of the two. And the outcome of boy-meets-girl isn't always pleasant. Whether it's a break up, an almost-was, or simply the loss of an incredible friendship because dating that friend just didn't work, here are some healthy (and not-so-healthy) ways to deal with breaking ties with that significant someone in your life.
The "Probably Not A Good Idea" Ideas:
You were close. You knew his schedule. You are fully capable of showing up at Qdoba because you know his office celebrates Taco Monday's. Maybe don't do that.
You don't really want him to see you all alone, drowning your sorrows in burritos while he's with his friends. If you really need to talk to him, find a time to grab coffee one-on-one.
2. Stalking: Social Media Edition
You are not going to find pictures of him heartbroken and missing you. No one wants their social media to look pathetic and sadly, he doesn't either. Best case scenario: he doesn't post anything for three months so you have no idea what's going on in his life.
Worst case scenario: you see daily evidence of how happy he is with his four new girlfriends, his successful promotion at work, and the adorable new golden retriever puppy he finally bought.
Verdict is still out on whether or not this is actually "unhealthy." But if you can't stand looking at the necklace he got you for your 6 month anniversary, or the blue dress he really liked on you, you might as well make some money. This website lets you sell his gifts and no one ever has to know.
Disclaimer: This is NOT an invitation to break into his apartment and sell his Xbox. That's illegal. And a waste of an Xbox.
The Slightly More Helpful Ideas:
1. Write It Out
Communication is good for the soul, and sometimes you just need to let people know why you feel the way you do. But if he refuses to talk to you, texting him your thoughts at fifteen minute intervals is not likely to change that.
Instead, start a journal or a private blog. Writing it all down allows you to pinpoint why you feel a certain way, and helps you clear your head. Once you've taken the time to acknowledge what you're thinking, it's so much easier to stop thinking about it.
2. Read A Book
Read something inspiring. Read something empowering. Read Bob Goff or Bill Bryson or Katie Davis. Read memoirs or short stories about real people who did real, incredible things. Because nothing can make you forget about boys faster than a renewed passion to change the world.
And if that didn't work, at least you killed some time.
3. Start Something New
Maybe it's volunteering at the local homeless shelter. Maybe it's picking up photography as a hobby. Maybe it's learning the entire second verse of Outkast's "B.O.B."
All joking aside, the bottom line is this: do something that reminds you how great you are.
We keep people in our lives because they encourage us, support us, and make us feel strong. Maybe breakups suck so much because we rely a little too heavily on that outside affirmation. So remind yourself of the things that you love doing. Then follow that something you're passionate about. Remember everything that you are capable of on your own. You may still be sad, but you'll still be you. And after some time, you won't be sad anymore -- you'll be a stronger, wiser version of you.